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Congratulations.

You've made an excellent career choice.

Forget the nine-to-five. Forget office politics. Forget answering emails from people who use the phrase "circle back" without irony.

Become a vampire's familiar instead.

You'll have money. You'll have nice clothes. You'll live in a beautiful house. You'll never have to worry about your employer asking you to come into the office at nine in the morning.

Mostly because your employer will be asleep.

There are, however, a few things you should...

One of the strangest things about writing horror comedy is realizing that horror and comedy are basically the same genre wearing different hats.

One wears a clown nose. The other carries an axe.

But underneath, they operate on surprisingly similar principles. They both rely on tension. Both rely on surprise. Both rely on making the audience anticipate one thing before delivering another.

The only real difference is whether the audience laughs afterward. Or screams.

Sometimes both.

Which is...